An
Inkling
With
the media fixated on the same sex marriage cases before the Supreme Court this
week, hardly anyone has noticed another momentous case before them – this one challenging
the law of gravity. The Court will
determine whether the law of gravity is inevitably discriminatory in its
application, bearing more heavily on some than on others. If they so determine,
they will certainly rule the law unconstitutional.
This
case is before the Court because of a suit filed by seven people who believe it
is unjust that they are considered heavy.
Ike Newton, attorney for the plaintiffs, declared that it is long since
time for America to bring freedom for all who have previously borne the burden
of extra pounds.
The
seven plaintiffs prepared for the Court hearing with a service at their church,
where the Reverend G. B. Shaw led a ceremony in which the seven were pronounced
“light.” During his homily the Reverend
Shaw declared, “I don’t know what kind of bigoted blindness led the deity to
put the law of gravity into effect, but the Supreme Court now has the
opportunity to right a great wrong.”
At
a reception following the ceremony, the newly light celebrants were giddy with
their new status. One of the women
declared that she can hardly wait to wear a size five dress.
Meanwhile
the Presbyterian Church has convened a study commission, which will consider
the Church’s broad diversity of theological positions on gravity, and will bring
a report in 2024.
“He
who sits in the heavens laughs.” And the
joke is on us.
Lord
have mercy,
Keith
