Ever known a divorcee who couldn’t move on? You hear his ranting about how ridiculous his ex and former in-laws are, and how their latest antics are just another example of blah, blah, blah. Given the raw feelings surrounding divorce, such rants are understandable – for a while.
But after a while most people realize themselves, or are instructed by their friends, that ranting is no longer helpful, and that it’s time to move on. That means not paying such close attention to the dysfunction that made one crazy in the first place, and certainly not running on about it.
Last week our ECO-Ex had their family reunion in Detroit. (For those of you new to our story, in 2013 St. Giles was released from the PCUSA to join a new denomination, the ECO.) I’ve seen lots of venting and snarking on line about their doings. And I have to confess that the anger resonated with me. Some lingering wounds in my own heart make it all too easy to join in the scorn.
But it’s time to move on. As we do, we welcome God’s forgiveness to move from being a commitment in the head to a freedom in the heart. And that’s essential for moving fully into his next season for us.
We just celebrated the one-year anniversary of St. Giles’ marriage to ECO. I can truly say it is wonderful – far beyond what I had ever hoped. That in itself makes it easier to move on. Even so, it takes some discipline to drop the old combative habits.
Let’s help each other with that by laying aside our own venting and snarking. It will make us all the more ready to welcome others in the healthiest ways to our happy new union. And it will make our prayers and support more authentic for our friends who are still a part of our former church family.
Lord have mercy…
On us all,